Problem and Solution: Behavior of a 2 year-old

Ok, yes I LOVE my son. Love love love him. Everything about him, seriously, everything. However, he's 2, and with that comes the 2 year old behavior problems. Honestly, I feel that my role as Killian's mother/parent is to raise him to be the best possible adult he can be. So while this post is about behavior management, managing his undesirable behavior is really only a SMALL part of raising him to be a successful, kind, responsible adult. But, as a parent I also have to teach him how to manage his behavior. SO.... if you are struggling with some undesirable behavior of a 2 year old (or older), here are some techniques I've found to work well:

Problem: Tantrums, non-listening/ignoring my requests, outbursts.... general unhappiness at life.

Solution (s): I've found (and learned through education classes) that 2 year old (and older) NEED choices. Around age 2 they start an internal war with themselves, which manifests it's self as an external war with parents/caregivers, over dependency. They want to be both dependent, and independent. They'll go through stages of "babyness" where they're clingy and want their parent to do everything for them, much like a baby. And they'll go through stages where they're all about "I do it".  How do you balance it as a parent and help you're child find a suitable balance? Give them choices. Two choices to be exact. Too many choices will overwhelm a child. Here's how I do it.. and as always, consistency is key.

I give Killian 2 choices, one on each hand. I always warn him, "you're choices are coming, so listen up". Then I point to one open palm and tell him a choice he has. Let's use the example of "Keep playing in the bathtub, but then no Cailou before bed". Then I point to my other palm and tell him the second choice. Ex: "Clean up your toys and get out of the bathtub now, and you can wach a Cailou episode before bed." Usually he doesn't like either choice, as he'd like to keep playing AND watch a Cailou episode. If he complains and tells me "No, I keep playing AND watch a Cailou" (which often happens), I calmly tell him that I'm sorry but that's not a choice he has. He'll cry/whimper/scream, and I'll tell him calmly that I'm going to count to 10. If he doesn't make a decision by then, I will make the choice for him. (Oh, during this I keep my palms up for him, and sometimes remind him of the choices). I start counting, and before I get to 10, he's high-fived one of the hands/choices and is fine. Of course, doing this means that the first couple of times you HAVE to follow-through. If your child doesn't stop complaining/screaming by the end of 10 and doesn't chose, then you HAVE to make a choice and then MAKE the child follow through with that choice. Killian knows that I ALWAYS follow-through, and so he knows if I get to 10 I will make the choice. So, he normally stops complaining by 5, makes a choice, and then follows through with his choice.

Another problem I've been having with this little one is not listening/doing the things I ask him to do. I expect Killian to help me out around the house. Usually small things like get his Pjs, or throw something away for me. Lately, he's been dawdling, or simply ignoring what I ask him to do. So, I decided to start a new rule in our house. Here it is: "If you do not listen to me the FIRST time I ask you to do something, I will start counting. I will stop counting when you do what I've asked. However much of MY time you waste by not listening, is the amount of YOUR playtime that I will take." This took about 3 times before Killian learned exactly what would happen. I tell him: "I'm counting" and I start counting the seconds of time that he wastes. Then, after he finally does what I ask, I tell him that it took him _____ seconds, and he now needs to sit in that long of a time-out. OH he does NOT like that. But it's effective. It's logical. It's simple. Like I said, the first couple of times he sat in 60-90 second time outs because he didn't think I'd follow-through and still took his own sweet time (sometimes he'd sit in the living room turning in circles just to avoid getting me something). But now, I tell him I'm counting and he normally gets up and goes. I've found this SO much more peaceful than getting frustrated with him after I've asked him 5 times to do something.

So there they are, my solutions for the terrible 2s!! Hope they work for anyone who uses them :)

I LOVE 2 years, 8 months

Alright. Killian is 2 years and 8 months (well on Monday), but I have to say that I LOVE this age. Yes, it's filled with public displays of tantrums (which occur quite frequently lately) (and occurring as I type this, because he's OVER tired but doesn't want to be in bed), and a new recent development, a sadness during ANY transition from house to ____ (fill in the blank for destination). Though the new development's not surprising, since he goes back and forth between his dad's and my house, and his grand parents and daycare, almost daily. And he barely sees me anymore with school and shared placement..... it's a very hard time right now. But, besides these lovely parts of his personality, I STILL love his age. Why? He's FINALLY talking. I mean, full sentences, comes up with his OWN sentences, talking.

And let me tell you something. This little boy is HILARIOUS. The things that come out of his mouth. man. Example:

I was deathly sick this week. UGH, I was so sick. So I have vitamin C drops to suck on. Killian, of course, became interested in these, and was investigating how I sucked on them. He asks me, "Spit that into my paw mama?" (yes, he calls his hands paws). So I did. Then he says: "Can I suck it mama?" Me: "Yes, but DO NOT swallow it. Killian. You will choke if you swallow it. Suck it only." Killian: "Ok mama. I suck it only." (pops the drop into his mouth. His eyes get big as he sucks away. Then he stops sucking, looks into my eyes, and swallows that drop!) me: "Killian! I told you not to swallow it!" Killian: "Don't worry mama! It's going down down down and I will pop that orange drop out when I make yellow on the potty."

Oh my son is too smart. But everyday more and more hilarious and smart comments come out of his little mouth. I've started a journal that I keep open on our breakfast bar, and I write down all the funny things he says as he says them. I want to remember all these things that make my days when I'm old and gray :)

**Side note, more of a note for me: This week we didn't do much, besides see Tangled in the theaters, run errands, and compost. Killian helped me compost on Wednesday and Friday, but only liked helping on Wednesday, because it was so cold today. He's going to be SUCH a great helper this spring/summer in the garden :)***

Valentine's Day + the week

PHEW! Get ready for lots and lots of photos, because I have lots to share! This year, Killian has really gotten into holidays, so naturally, we had to celebrate valentine's day. We started by making a mailbox. I got this cute mailbox kit from target:

 Killian enjoyed helping glue the decorations on. I got a great action shot here:

 I put a little valentine's card in his mailbox. He was so thrilled to open it up :)

 Then, he had to put the valentine back into his mailbox, so he had mail :)

 We made the mailbox about 2 weeks ago, and every once and a while, I put little notes or candy in it, and put up the flag. Then Killian would notice his flag was up, and he's say: "I got mail!!" He had alot of fun with it :) We also made valentines for all his friends at daycare, and family members. He helped pick out different toy story ones, and put stickers and candy on them:

 He picked out exactly which ones went to each person. I asked who he loved, and he told me and picked a valentines for that person. When we were down to two valentines, he was having a hard time trying to decide who should get them. Then he realized he loved me, and the dogs. Sigh, I was 2nd to last on the long list of the people he loves.

We celebrated valentine's day on Saturday, because he went to his dad's saturday night-tuesday. So he woke up to this at his table place:

 He was so excited for his candy, books, puzzle and train whistle. And he loved his card from me, because it had a rocketship on it:

So we had a fun valentine's day :)


Now for an update on what we've been up to! Last weekend, we headed up to our cabin where my dad, sister and extended family was. Killian loved playing with my younger cousins, and we went snowmobiling, sledding, and walking around the frozen lake. He got upset a few times, because there was about 15 people there, and the noise and busyness was a little much (we're used to quiet at our house).

 He loved playing hide-and-seek with my cousins. Here's a hiding place that I found him in.

 Closing his eyes to count :)

 Walking on the frozen lake

Ready to snowmobile... he went for an hour!!!

It was another week of school, but Monday morning we went to tumbling class, where Killian learned to walk the balance beam all by himself. :) I was a proud mama :) Tuesday I had school all day :( but I had 2 hours off in between classes, so I got to go to his daycare and play, eat lunch, and snuggle with him for a half hour before he fell asleep. It was really nice :) When I picked him up, he was painting:

He didn't want to stop to come home :)
Wednesday he went to his dad's, and Thursday he didn't want to leave my house to do anything. And then when he woke up from nap, he had a fever and couldn't get off the bed. He ended up falling asleep at 530, and throwing up around 6. Then he slept until 730 on Friday! He still had a fever Friday and was very crabby, so we stayed home. After a 4 hour nap, he was back to his usual self.

Saturday morning, we went to the Building For Kids, where there was a snake exhibit. MMM... not my favorite. There was about 70-100 snakes there, some of them VERY large. Of course Killian fell in LOVE with them. Here are some pictures of him loving a 70 lb python (I was having a panic attack inside, just so you know)

And I do have a few randoms from this week. Killian's wanted a dollhouse for about 3 months now, and the deal was that when he was fully potty trained, he could get one. Well, he's fully potty trained, so.... he got one. It took me a few days to put it together, but he played with the furniture and the dolls while he waited patiently. In this set, there is an umbrella meant to be a patio umbrella. WELL, Killian thinks it's an umbrella for him... so he walked around the house holding it over his head :)

 He cracks me up sometimes :) Here's the complete doll house. He's so funny when he plays with it. He acts out everything that happens at home. I really need to get him a dog for it though, he needs something to punish :)

Problem and Solution: Grocery Store Madness

Time for my weekly problem and solution.

Problem:
Whenever I took Killian to the grocery store, he was well behaved (relative mind you, he is 2) most of the time. However, I made the mistake a while ago of letting him eat the food we were purchasing before we purchased it. This became part of the routine, and Killian eventually was wanting to eat EVERYTHING we bought. So I thought, how can I make grocery shopping more educational and exciting for him, so he wouldn't want to eat so much, AND he was learning to help me?
Solution:
I created a simple 5 item grocery list for Killian to have. He was in charge of finding these things and putting them in the grocery cart.

As you can see, I have the numbers, pictures and words. Killian's beginning to recognize numbers and he just started realizing that words mean ideas. So this became an educational experience. I'd ask him what the 3rd item on the list was, and he had to look next to the 3. In addition, he "read" the words to me. MAN was this a hit. He was so helpful, going over his list again and again to make sure we had everything. Of course, I made sure I put the items in the order that we'd see them (I know our grocery store by heart of course). I made a template of the list blank, so I can fill in the pictures and words for each grocery shopping experience within a couple of minuets, and we'll be good to go. I might actually give him a few more items to find as well, as he started to get anxious to find the yogurt when we were only half way through the store.

So there you have it. A simple way to give your child responsibility, while educating them, and stopping any grocery-shopping boredom/misbehavior. Being a pre-service teacher, I know that most misbehavior comes from a child not knowing where/how to otherwise direct their energy. So, keep them busy with meaningful tasks, and teach them how to be responsible and helpful in the process.

It was a blizzard here....

Phew, we've had a hard week here. First week back to school for me, which means less, TOO MUCH LESS time with me for Killian. As such, I'm EXHAUSTED and missing my boy, and he's throwing tantrum after tantrum over everything. Sigh, I hate adjustment periods. However... Wisconsin gave us a small ray of sunlight (metaphorically) in the form of a blizzard on Wednesday. (You might have heard of it.... it was kind of a big deal :) ). Anyways, that meant NO class for me and no class Thursday, which meant that I spend 2.5 days straight with my little love. Which is wonderful since he's at his dad's today, I get him for 3 hours tom. before he goes back to his dad's for 5 hours while I'm in class, and then comes home to me again. It's going to be a hard weekend.


Anyways... What did we do on our snow day? I'm glad you asked!

 We played dress-up... lots and lots of dress-up. This particular photo is of Train dress-up. I believe Killian was ordering me back in my seat behind "big bunny" so he could blow the train whistle and get us to the zoo.

 OK, this photo wasn't taken in the blizzard... it's from last week. But I have to show how desperate we Wisconsin residents get around Feb. time.

 OH yes, this photo is from last week too... of Killian at monkey joes with his friend C. He loves holding hands with all his friends. :)

 OK, this was blizzard day. Someone screamed at me that he wasn't napping.... see a stubborn streak going here?

 We cleaned out house. Killian's really into helping me clean, so I gave him a rag and a squirt bottle of water. Man that child cleaned EVERYTHING.

 Snuggling his Mama puppy and her 2 baby puppies in his rocking chair.

 Again... not this week (you can tell from the lack of snow), but last friday Killian rode his bike for about 20 min. before the snow came in.

We played at my moms... where he enjoyed riding my mom.


So some extra photos:

 Drawing train tracks ALLL over the bath tub

 Photos of the sweater I finished knitting him... the back.

 The front. Notice the hood is up and his hands are in the pockets. He loves it and it actually fits pretty well. I'm relieved after I spent 40 hrs + on it.

The art project he did at class... a hippo treat box. So cute.

And to see how far Killian's come.. I decided once a month to put up photos of Killian in all the past years + this year... so:

Feb. 2009: - In our new home, Killian's exploring his reflection in the mirror and rolling around (Not yet crawling)

 Feb 2010: My sister and her family came to visit. Killian's taking a bath with his cousin who's 4 months older than he is. 20 months and saying a few words.

 Feb. 2011: Trying on the sweater I made him, 32 months and Sassy! Talking full sentences, and has all large motor skills + almost all fine motor skills needed for preschool!

So much change from 8 months to 32 months!

Problem and Solution: Finding time to clean

 

I've decided to add something new to my blog... something for other moms (or dads) out there, that find themselves extraordinarily busy. AND possibly for moms and dads who aren't busy. At least once a week until June, I'm going to post a problem and solution that I've come up with. And, ok, the title is a little cocky. I'm not promising that my solution is actually the  best solution. But I'm promising that it works for my family, and it's the best that I've found after researching and trying out other solutions. 

So, here we go. Problem and Solution #1, finding time to clean:

Problem: I find that during the semester, when I'm in school 20 hours a week, working 10-15 hours a week, taking care of a 2 year old the other hours, AND doing homework 10 hours a week.... that my cooking and cleaning fall by the wayside. The house becomes a MESS, and then I spend 5 hours on a weekend cleaning the whole thing. I never want company to come over, and I feel disorganized the whole week until it's clean. (And let's face it, with a 2 year old and two NAUGHTY dogs, it stays clean for about a half hour after the little one wakes up the next morning).

Solution: The absolute BEST solution I've found, is breaking the cleaning up into small jobs, and assigning a day of the week. I have a cleaning schedule that is posted weekly in my kitchen. I cross things off each day as they get cleaned. And I have to say... my house is actually staying clean! Here's a photo of this week's cleaning schedule:

I add little notes to myself in the margins as you can see, and the duties sometimes change positions depending on the week and the days I'll be more or less busy. Yes, once and a while I don't do the cleaning for a day (such as this week, Killian decided to boycott sleep last night until 10 pm, at which point I was too exhausted to clean, so the cleaning for Tuesday got done today, on Wednesday), but I still always do the jobs the next day. I found that crossing them off helps alot, because I can visually see what still needs to be done. While I'm waiting for pasta to cook, I might quickly take out the garbage or dust. That way, I can do the jobs during spare min. throughout the day, without having to mentally figure out what needs to be cleaned. 

Finally, I came up with a nice little rule in our house to keep it PICKED UP (one of the major battles for any parent). The rule is:

*If toys are in the playroom or Killian's bedroom, they can lay out all day. If they are in a room Mommy walks in (aka, any other room), they must be put away RIGHT after they are finished playing with. Both the playroom and Killian's room must be picked up before bed* 

I leave an extra 15 min. before bedtime to clean up. Eventually I think Killian will wise up and pick up his toys as he goes, so he doesn't have to get ready for bed so early. The rule's been working out pretty well too. I don't mind toys being all over the floor as long as I don't have to step over them, or look at them. It also helps that all the toys are only in Killian' room and the playroom with the exception of the kitchen set and the train table.

So, that's my solution for cleaning. All the jobs divided up throughout the week, and having them hanging up so I can see them. I've been using this tool for about 4 months now and I have to say that it's working so well that when I'm lazy and don't print off a new one (again like this week, I waited until Monday when I normally print one off on Sunday), I get frazzled not seeing my cleaning schedule up on the kitchen cabinet.