I'm raising a teenager...

I've recently decided that I'm raising a teenager trapped inside a (almost) 3 year old's body. Why? Well let's look at some of the conversations I've had with him lately:

Killian wanted a toy after he'd just gotten a new one hours earlier.
Me: Well where's your money for this toy? If you want it, you'll have to buy it yourself.
K: It's in my pocket.
Me: Ok, show me the money.
K: It's in there
Me: Pull it out and show me Killian.
K: (rummages around in his pocket). Aw man! It must be at home. I will just give you money at home.
Me: No, no, no. If you want to buy this toy you need your money here.
K: Ok, its in my pocket. Hold on. (rummages around again, and pulls out nothing) Here it is mama. (handing me "pretend" money).
Me: No Killian. You need real money, like this: (I open my wallet and show him three 1$ bills).
K: OH!!! There's my money! It was in your wallet. Phew! Let's get the toy.


*** Ok seriously? Here's another one:

Me: Monkey, what are you doing?
K: No, NO! My name is only Lillian (Killian). Not monkey!

*** Seriously? He's embarrassed by nicknames already??? Here's another:

Me: Killian, Amanda's getting married. Would you like to walk down the aisle with a pillow and rings and give them to Michael?
K: No. I'm not going to.
Me: Everyone will look at your beautiful face.
K: MM. Ok then. I will do it.

***Another one:

K: Mama... I made a mess.
Me: What? Where is it? What did you do?
K: (as he holds my hand and strokes my arm leading me to the mess... in the sweetest voice) Mama, MOMMMYYYYY, I love you. You are beautiful. You are my mommy. I love you. Kiss me, snuggle me. I love you.

**Make no mistake. He was trying to pacify me before I came upon the plant that he had DUMPED all over his bed. Where did he learn this? Seriously!

 Me: Killian, I'm going to sell Stella.
K: NO! I wuvaaa her! Mama, I wuv her. She will be nice now.



Sigh. I'm in such trouble when he's able to reason even more. Perhaps I'll be raising a 30 year old in a teenager's body soon........ though that might actually work to my advantage.